I never askabout the day I was adopted. There are photos of the arrival into my new home and family.
I don't recall there ever being a conversation about the hand over. I can imagine mum taking a pretty stunning outfit to bring me home in. Did she change me at Bethany? Did she give the clothes to a worker to get me dressed in? Did I come in my own clothes? What happened to those adoption day clothes?
The big question I have is - did mum and dad think about the young woman who was handing her baby over? Did they ask for her to be thanked? Did they empathise with her pain? Did they judge her? Did they feel pretty pleased with themselves taking her baby for a better life?
Norma told me that the relinquishing mothers would be aware that their baby had been selected for adoption and would be going. On the day I was picked up Norma happened to be in the nursery. I didn't ask her what the routine was and I presume that one day they would go to feed their baby etc and it would be gone. So she was there and knew the exact moment I was taken.
Norma is a resilient woman, she is determined and just a little bit feisty. The moment during our conversation that she softened was when she told me 'It was hard, really hard'. My eyes met hers and I felt like those few words connected us deeply. It felt like her apology and her desire to tell me that she didn't adopt me out without a second thought.
Norma watched me leave out a window. She told me that my parents had a flash new green car (true). That my mother had a smart outfit complete with gloves and hat (true).
How must it have felt?
I imagine huge relief - her big problem had been resolved. The worry and anticipation had now been faced and were over. She could go home and not face judgement from her mother, she could carry on.
Perhaps relief that it seemed like her baby was going to a home that could provide what she couldn't.
There must have been loss and sadness. Grief. For us both.
